Okay, I had this whole post written and it was such a fun little story, but blogger ate it. Damnit.
So instead, I'll post this. This is query letter I've been working on for my mystery. What do you think? Is it too much of a slam against traditional cozy mysteries? Would this make youwant to read the book? Let me know. Also, note that I changed some names to protect people who may not want their names plastered all over the internet or my website.
Dear Ms. Jane Doe:
Rennie Harlow is not your typical female cozy sleuth. She doesn’t own a cute little herb shop or a catering business. In fact, she can’t even cook--her idea of a recipe starts with “remove plastic overwrap.” She doesn’t scrapbook, cross-stitch, knit or sew either. Rennie Harlow is a real woman with some real problems.
She’s a former small town girl, trying to get used to simple living again after 11 years in the big city. Her ex-husband (a lawyer who cheated on her with his exotic Puerto Rican paralegal and now wants out of his alimony payment) is a walking clichè. Her mother, with whom Rennie now lives, believes herself to have every disease known to man. She’s falling for her high school crush all over again, except now he’s the local sheriff and married. Oh yeah, and she has an uncanny talent for finding trouble, usually in the form of a dead body.
This time, it’s Doc Hallacy. Rennie finds the pharmacist bludgeoned behind the counter early one morning when she comes in to have yet another of her mother’s prescriptions filled. As the resident starving freelance writer, Rennie takes on the assignment to cover Doc’s death. As Rennie starts to dig into Doc’s life, she discovers that pharmacists know all our dirty secrets, and the question becomes, which one killed him? And will trying to find out get her killed, too?
Ms. XYZ of the XYZ Agency has called me a “solid writer” with “a nice narrative voice.” RuneStone Publishing recently released my first novel, The Silver Spoon, a sci-fi romance, in trade paperback and e-book. I’m currently working on the second book in the Rennie Harlow series (approx. 75,000 words).
I’m including the first page of the manuscript to give you an idea of my writing style. Please let me know if you’re interested in receiving the entire manuscript of Bitter Pill (approx. 55,000 words).
Sincerely,
Stacey Klemstein
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8 comments:
It sounds good, and yes, I would want to read more.
In the first para, I'd change it to read "cozy female sleuth".
In the third, I'd make some mention of a 'newspaper' or 'magazine' or whomever is giving her the freelance writing assignment. Without it, the 'resident freelance writer' seems to come out of nowhere.
Good luck, Stacey. I'm so proud of you!
- Eileen
In the third paragraph, I would reword the third sentence to read: "As she starts to dig into Doc's..."
I felt like Rennie was used a bit too much and it seemed repititive at that point. But feel free it ignore me as well. I'm an engineer and, as we all know, engineers have the grammatical acumen of a 12 year old. :)
Great suggestions, Eileen! Thank you : )
Ed, I'm a little scared : ) Your comment time is listed as 8:43 a.m. and you used the phrase "grammatical acumen." Have you been body snatched? : )
And yeah, you're right. Rennie does show up a lot in that third paragraph. Good catch! I'll make the fix : ) Thank you!
Well, 8:43 in the morning seems downright late .. well ... at least to Lauren it does. I'm routinely seeing the other side of 9 am now and I'm not a big fan.
Dude...there's another side to 9:00 a.m.? ; )
Thanks, Deb : ) Made my day to hear that. Sometimes it gets hard to keep my chin up, as my dad would say. So thank you for the vote of confidence, I appreciate it : )
Stacey
Stace-
One observation -- is saying that Rennie is a "real woman with real problems" a bit too harsh of a condemnation of all the women out there who bake and knit but may still be pill popping psychopaths dealing with abusive ex-boyfriends? Ok, my example is a bit dramatic, but you get my drift...your query letter is really good...I just want to make sure you don't alienate women (esp. editors & publishers) who may take that one quote personally : )
P.S. Got to see the Faith goes all evil ep. of Buffy yesterday. It's still awesome. And Fluffy the squirrel has been evicted!!!!!
Love ya,
Stac
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