Sex

So, I spent most of Saturday writing a sex scene for the mystery project. Five pages worth. It is definitely the longest such scene I've ever written and possibly the most...um...risque. Definitely not one that I'll be mentioning to the parents, except possibly in such terms as, "You may want to skip pages xxx-xxx."

I'd been stuck on this chapter, this one scene, in fact, for so long and I couldn't figure out why. It was so frustrating!!! Everything kept drifting toward sex, and I kept pulling it back, thinking the timing was wrong or the place inappropriate. And I was right and yet, once that scene was on screen, it seemed to bridge some kind of gap. Like it was the piece I'd been missing this whole time and every time I tried to avoid it, that's when things fell apart. Because the timing isn't right and the place is inappropriate and that's the whole point for these two particular characters.

I have no idea if the scene will stay in or not. In fact, that's what I kept telling myself while I was writing it. That was the only way I could make it through writing a scene that went against every bit of logic I could come up with. It was an experiment, basically, to see what would happen if I went in the direction everything seemed to be leading me, instead of fighting it. But when I go back and read the scene now in the context of the pages before it, it really makes sense. It doesn't stand out as a sore thumb (to me, anyway), and I think it works. It speaks so much to who these people are, and how they, in particular, have been "damaged" to use a Grey's term. It's not about love, at least not the way it is in a traditional romance. Which is good because this is not a traditional romance.

So, we'll see what happens. But at least, it was fun and not the frustrating, write two lines and bang your head against the wall while you erase the same two lines, experience that it has been the last week or so. And I'm writing this as much for myself as for anyone else to remind myself yet again that:

1) When you're stuck, you eventually get unstuck, no matter how unlikely it seems at the time. (Stacy G. was right! I'm sure she's less than surprised to hear this as she told me this same thing weeks ago.)

2) When I get stuck, it's because I'm fighting something I shouldn't be fighting. I'm trying to bend the story (or characters) to my will instead of just watching for and aiding natural progression. The answer is there, I just have to listen for it instead of talking over it.