*Insert cool entry title here*

So, in order to be able to remember what the heck I wanted to write about here, I've started keeping a list in my planner. That means, generally speaking, you're going to get short little blurbs of nonsensical stuff here instead of a complete entry...Oh, well. What's funny is that the list looks completely ridiculous and would make no sense to anyone else, and yet apparently out of some fear that my life is so fabulously interesting that people wouldn't be able to resist snooping, I cover the list with an inconspicuous post-it note. Like, "Oh, no, there's nothing written on this planner page, just a post it note. Just keeping flipping pages to get to the good stuff."

Here's what my list says for this week:
Parking garage
Big windows
Treadmill incident
Like Monk--pen washing

PARKING GARAGE
At my new day job, there's a parking garage, which is typically a nice thing. Except for the birds that tend to make a home there. Flying and flapping overhead, which isn't very far overhead unfortunately because of the low ceilings. *shudder* Anyway, there's a dead bird there that obviously got hit by a car or died and then got run over a car. It's basically just feathers and a bright yellow beak now, but for some reason, I'm both completely freaked out by it and drawn to it at the same time. Gross, huh? Like I'll be walking into work, not thinking and I'll step on a leaf or something and think, "Oh, sh*t, I just stepped on that stupid dead bird." But I didn't. At least not yet. And then when I remember to look for it, I'm obssessed with finding in it on the floor, not just so I won't step on it but also because I'm curious about exactly how long maintenance will just leave it there.

BIG WINDOWS
On a related note, I now have big windows in my cubicle that overlook the forest preserve behind the company. Very nice! Plus, I can actually verify the weather before stepping outside. However, I am informed that this pleasing view does have its downside--apparently when the weather gets cooler, birds smack into the windows all the time. Great. Something to look forward to. I did, however, try to explain this to my new boss but it came out like this, "I have a big bird phobia." It probably sounded like this, "I have a Big Bird phobia." As in the Sesame Street character. *sigh*

TREADMILL INCIDENT
We joined the neighborhood gym a few weeks ago and I finally worked up the nerve to go in. I usually hate gyms. They're always full of people who don't actually need to be there, the really skinny people and the intimidating musclebound weightlifters. I want to go to Average Joe's Gym, where you can look like a total spaz on the equipment and no one cares or even really notices. The gym near my house, fortunately, is full of normal people of all shapes and sizes, and while there are body builders there, they aren't the intimidating, grunting, dropping weights on the floor sort. (In fact, there are rules against both grunting and dropping weights--yea for the gym near my house!)

But none of this kept people from staring at me when, on my second trip to the gym this week (I went three times!!!), my iPod fell out of its little holder at my waist, hit the treamill and flew off backwards. Um, yeah. In my panic, I kind of forgot I was on a moving sidewalk, essentially, and tried to bend over to pick it up and nearly flew off myself. In my clutziness, however, I managed to hit the stop button on the treadmill quite accidentally and therefore saved myself major embarrasment. I did, however, experience minor embarrassment when the edge of my shoe treads rubbed against the still moving belt and made a really loud noise. And I felt compelled to break the unspoken gym rule and say something aloud to everyone. It's true, no one talks to anyone else and no one looks at anyone else either. This is a problem for me as a natural people-watcher. Pretty soon, I'm not only going to be the weird treadmill girl, I'm also going to be known as the girl who stares. Ugh.

But I'm finding that I like going on the treadmill. I turn on the iPod and tune everything else out. It's peaceful, makes my brain go blank for awhile. Love that! : ) So, I'm going to try to go three times a week or so.

LIKE MONK--PEN WASHING
As I've mentioned before, if I'm not careful, I can lean a little into the land of hypochondria and obsessive compulsive disorder. This week, I had to shake hands with a person who had this totally phlegmy cough and it completely grossed me out. But I had no choice but to shake hands and then watch as the person continued to cough phlegmily into their hands. *full body shudder* I made sure not to touch my face or anything until I could wash my hands. Unfortunately, though, before I could wash my hands, I was forced to use my favorite pen to write something down. So, after I scoured my hands, I was confronted with the issue of my pen. What to do? The phlegmy germs that were once on my hands were now on my pen. Hmm. Logic (and OCD) suggests getting rid of this perfectly good pen as it is clearly tainted and no longer good for anything. However, it is a favorite pen and those are hard to come by. So, what did I do? I whipped out the travel size bottle of hand sanitizer from my bag and squirted a blob of it on a napkin and then, after carefully wrapping the pen in the napkin without touching the pen itself, I cleaned it off with the hand sanitizer-soaked napkin. Yeah. I know. Craaaaazy. The worst part is that, later, a perfectly normal, non-sick person asked to borrow my pen and I allowed it. And then thought about sanitizing the pen again...just in case. It's a slippery slope, folks!

: ) More later...Hope to have some "official book news soon." Bitter Pill is out and about with a publisher and I've been asked for a marketing plan, which I've written and Stacy G. is reviewing for me. So hopefully, I'll get that sent out soon!