For the gramatically inclined...is it "a while" or "awhile"? Does it depend on usage?

As in, "He waited a while before deciding to leave."

Or,

"It'll be awhile before I can help you with your homework."

This is one of those words that loses meaning after you say it enough times. awhile. a while. *grin*

Right on Shed-ule

So this weekend, I tried something new. I wrote out a schedule for the writing stuff that I wanted to accomplish. Weekends are pretty much my only time where I can devote big chunks of time to writing and revising but because I'm so tired by the end of the week, I often waste time watching Buffy reruns (though I prefer to think of that as research into a kickass heroine instead of wasting time) and searching for a movie, ANY decent movie, on HBO, TBS, or USA. (For example, I found myself watching 50 First Dates a couple weekends ago, and I actually liked it. But I kind of like Adam Sandler...sometimes. Don't tell, okay?)

As for the schedule thing, Saturday worked out better than Sunday. I find that I really have to keep moving on stuff, otherwise I get distracted. I didn't quite get everything done that I wanted, but I found time to work on Zara II, plus some new stuff. All before the Buffy rerun at 4:00, which I let myself watch as a reward. It was a good one. Where the teacher/student murder suicide keeps getting re-enacted over and over again. (They still didn't answer the question, though, that either Buffy or Willow raises. Which is, if the original act happened in 1955, why haven't we heard of this murder/suicide re-enactment before? Nobody answers the question. They just kind of gloss right over it. Hmmm. Interesting way to handle a viewer's potential continuity objection. Raise it, which helps verify belief in the characters. But don't answer or explain it -- other than the old standby of "The Hellmouth is weird in its Hellmouth-ishness." Joss Whedon is awesome.)

I also need to cut back on my television watching in the evening. That would probably help me find even more time. But I'm tired in the evening when I get home. I can't believe I used to write at night! (Right now, my husband is grumbling under his breath...something about "stubborn" and "told her so" and "YEARS ago." *grin*)

I got one of the major plot snarls for Zara II...well, unsnarled this weekend. At least I hope it's unsnarled. You never really know until you go to make the changes. Actually, you never really know until someone else reads it. But there's still some snarliness happening toward the back end of the book. Scenes that I actually--eek-- skipped in writing the first draft because I knew the feeling of what should go there and what happened afterward but not how it all happened in detail. So, now I have to go in and sort things out. Figure out what happened. I'm hoping it all matches up. But we'll have to see...

So tonight, my goal is to put a little more time in on that snarl and see what happens! I'm hoping to be able to get this book out there to my first readers very soon : )

Made me laugh...

This morning I saw a vanity plate, "HUTSPA."* It took me a second to get it. Then I laughed : ) I know some people hate vanity license plates, and a lot of them--the plates, I mean-- are stupid. (For example, I don't understand the need to put the type and/or color of your car on your license plate. "RED JAG" or "AUDI TT," for example. Yeah, I can see that. The license plate is about four inches away from the model name on your trunk. And what happens if you change cars? But to each his own...)

But I think sometimes that vanity plates are the only exercise in creativity most people allow themselves. It's like a game. You have to think of something that describes yourself or your life in seven characters or less that hasn't already been thought of by someone else. That kind of thing kills me. I can never do it. My creativity doesn't run toward the short and clever end of things. Ask any of my colleagues who've read my attempts at brochure headlines. This is why my license plate is a random string of letters and numbers that I've had to create stories and/or facts around to remember. Like, I graduated from college in 1997, so I'm pretty sure there's a 97 in there somewhere. Except I think that's on the Tahoe, which my husband is now driving. *sigh* Oh, well.

My absolute all-time favorite is one my parents saw in Peoria, and I later saw for myself: "SOTERIC." Hee. If you don't get that, let me know. And don't feel bad. It took us a while to get it, too -- which makes it all the funnier.

Which only brings to mind an exchange I had with my brother this weekend.

Him (upon realizing his new license plate is a random string letters and numbers): *sigh* I'm never going to be able to memorize this.

Me: Why do you need to memorize it?

Him (looking at me like I've questioned the need for oxygen): In case someone asks you for it. Duh. (The duh is actually silent here.)

Me: *shrugs* Tell them to hang on a minute, then go out and look.

Him: *shakes head and walks away from clueless sister*

I don't know... made sense to me! *grin* Who wants to use up valuable brain space on your license plate number? I already have too many numbers to remember. If I'm picking, I'm going with my ATM PIN over my license plate number. When has knowing my license plate number ever gotten me cash?!?



*HUTSPA is a deliberate (I hope!) misspelling of the Yiddish word "chutzpah," which is used to describe a nervy or brazen type person or action. Ha. I just looked up "nervy" to make sure I was spelling it right and found the definition is "insolently confident." Dude. What a great description. That has to be a character somewhere!!!!

What's the difference between subconscious and unconscious? It sounds like the start of a joke, but I'm serious. I've always used "unconscious" to describe actions taken without realization of the significance of the gesture. However, after looking it up, "subconscious" appears to mean just about the same thing.

I know, of course, that when you're hit on the head, you're knocked unconscious, not subconscious. But are there any other differences? Nuances of meaning that I'm not getting?

That's will power*

I went to the bookstore over lunch to find a specific book. Not by one of my favorite authors, but one I've enjoyed reading, nonetheless. However, once I found the book, I realized that I couldn't buy it. Well, I could, but the topic this author is writing on is in the same general sphere as something I'm working on. Typically, if I read something that's even a little similar to something I'm writing, it throws me for a loop. I get all tense and worried that I'm unconsciously imitating that author's style or word choice. Makes writing for me very difficult for a few days. So, I picked up the book, started for the cash register and actually made it almost all the way there before I stopped. I turned around and put the book back.

The book will be there when I'm finished working on what I'm working on. I'll get it as a reward to myself when I'm finished. Writing is hard enough sometimes. I don't need help making it any harder on myself! : ) So yeah, this post is a little "yea-me!"** but I'm trying to do that so I'll remember to do the same thing next time and keep making, as they say in the day care field, good choices.


*Except, I did buy a book. Every Boy's Got One by Meg Cabot. It's safe as it resembles nothing that I'm working on. And for those with dirty minds (Edward!), the "one" in the title refers to a heart. : )

**Note my use of "" -- I just can't escape them.

Where is an invasion of privacy when you need it?!?

This morning, for the first time ever, I wished with all of my heart for a camera phone. Normally, the idea of a camera phone kind of freaks me out. I mean, people could be taking pictures of you all over the place with it and you'd never know. Plus, it costs more, and I'm cheap. But today, oh today, I would have paid the extra money, so as to have photographic evidence of the story I'm about to tell you.

I was driving in to work this morning, spacing out and listening to my Ipod, as I'm wont to do. I pulled up to the stoplight at the corner of Palatine and Wheeling road. A truck, one of those dumpster type trucks, is ahead of me in the lane next to me. But it's not like a typical garbage truck. It's one of those used for hauling. The back panel of the truck clearly opens up for loading and unloading, and the top of the truck is open--all the better for whatever they're hauling to fly out and hit your windshield.

The truck, this time, appeared to be empty. But as I'm sitting there, a flash of color on the back of the truck catches my attention. It's a scrap of cloth wound in and around one of the hinges of the back panel of the truck, the part the opens and closes for loading. It's a very pale pink. My first thought is, wow, must be one of those red scraps of cloth they use to indicate they're hauling a load that sticks outside the vehicle. It's so old, it's faded to pink instead of red.

But now that it has my attention, I start noticing other things about it. For example, everything in the world is coated right now with a crusty, old gray-white layer of salt. But this cloth appears fairly clean, which is sort of weird if it's an old red cloth that's been out in the sun long enough to fade to pink. Plus, there's something really familiar about the shape of the cloth. Curved edges, one dangling strap.

It is at this moment that I have a lightning fast realization about what I'm looking at -- a pale pink bra. Wrapped in the hinges of this truck. Oh, wow. How freaking weird is that?

I edge up closer in my car and confirm that it is in fact a pink bra, with no visible signs of deterioration or wear (you know what I'm talking about ladies -- this one wasn't stretched out or losing its wires or even broken in any visible way).

My imagination immediately kicks into overdrive. Maybe the truck driver is a kidnapper, using the truck to hide his victim until he has a chance to store her elsewhere. But she's managed to dangle her bra outside the truck in the hopes of gathering some passerby's attention. Or, maybe the truck driver is some kind of sicko who has the bra as some kind of trophy for whatever nefarious deeds he did to the owner of the bra.

Seriously, at one point, I'm contemplating, Do I call the cops? If so, what do I say? "There's a pink bra on this truck. I think there could be trouble." They'd laugh their asses off at me.

And yet, I still noted the name on the door of the truck, Waste Management, and the city, Wheeling, IL. Just in case...

Damn. I wish I'd had my camera.

Is there a twelve step program for this?

Help. My name is Stacey, and I'm addicted to using "quotes" around words that don't really need them. I've only recently broken the habit of using air quotes (do you know how badly I wanted to put quote marks around air quotes--it's a sickness I tell you!!! And yes, I do know that I did it in the first line of the entry -- that was intentional.

Quote marks around a single word are meant to indicate some kind of unusual or additional meaning to a word, usually a sarcastic connotation, I believe. But honestly, I have a terrible time wrapping my mind around the circumstances in which it is acceptable to do this. So, I end up doing it all the time and wrongly most of the time, I wager.

This is like when I was much younger (though it occasionally still happens) and read a great deal. So much so that my vocabulary outpaced my actual need for the word in conversation. Consequently, I heard the word in my head the way I thought it should sound, not at all the way it was actually pronounced. Then I would proceed to use the word in conversation at some later date and mangle it. The French words are particularly difficult. Lingerie was lin-ger-eee in my head. Which makes sense if you think about it. Linger is in the word lingerie. Facade was Fa-kade. Soldered was...well, sol-dered, not "soddered." Stupid French words. Stupid quote marks.

A couple of years ago, I embarrassed myself with a client by pronouncing constituents. Con-sti-tuents instead of con-stitch-uents. I knew what it meant, damnit. How often does any one ever use that word anyway!?!

So, does anyone out there have any quick and easily grasped rule of thumb about when to use quotes around a single word? I seem to recall an entire Friends episode about this.

Help me stop before I experience further chagrin (or as I pronounced as a child, char-grin. I got an extra "r" in there somehow. Don't ask... Damnit. I used quote marks again, this time around the "r." Which I'm pretty sure is an acceptable usage. But still!!! Help!)

: )

I don't understand people...

Today, as I was walking down the hall (not to the printer this time, imagine that), I was caught in an enormous, endless yawn. You know, one of those during which you actually have time to wonder at how long the yawn is going on, contemplate whether there is a record for the world's longest yawn and whether you're now in the running. Or maybe that's just me. In any case...down the hall from the other direction comes a woman in my department who I don't know very well at all, and I knew, just knew she'd comment on the yawn. Like "Are we keeping you up?" or "It's almost noon. Time to wake up." And yep, she did. "Wake up, girl."

Okay, while I understand the jokey nature in which this was intended, I'm flummoxed as to what to say in return or why people feel the need to say something in this circumstance. If I knew the person well, I might say something jokey to them, enticing them to say something funny back. But I don't know this person and I don't know what to say. My first temptation is to say something like, "Sorry. It's these prejudiced work hours here at Corporate America. I'm a night person. Expecting me to be alert and functioning before noon is discriminatory. I'm thinking of filing a suit." This would likely elicit a strange look and a frown.

A similar thing happens to me when I go to take all my water bottles to the recycle can in the vending machine room. I buy bottled water but refill the bottle (in a sanitary fashion, I assure you, from the fountain or water cooler in the department). So, I hang on to the bottle at my desk for the next day's use. Occasionally, I forget and buy a new bottle and/or the old bottle has old water in it and I don't have anywhere to dump it at the moment, so it sits for a few days. So, when I go to the recycle can, I usually have anywhere from four to five water bottles. Inevitably, someone who I don't know will comment on this activity. "Boy, somebody was thirsty today."

Arrrgh.

"Yes, I was very thirsty today. I drank five 20 oz. bottles of water today, all at once. Hear that? It's the sound of my kidneys exploding."

I do understand it's someone's way of being funny, and certain people can say things like that to me and it's totally fine. Usually I know them and appreciate their jovial nature. But from people I don't know, it just throws me.

And yes, this entry is making me seem like some kind of evil-tempered grouch, which I'm not. Really. These kind of encounters just leave me feel all squeamy inside.

*sigh* I'm weird, aren't I?

Random thought...

I was reading my notes for revisions to Zara II yesterday and couldn't figure out why I'd used the word "together" when it made absolutely no sense in the context of the sentence. I realized then, after some careful squinting, that I'd written "to get her" with very little space between the words, which made it look like "together."

Huh. Never realized that before. "To get her" and "together" are the same except for spacing...and meaning, of course. Weird.

Another weird moment in an otherwise normal day...

I was walking to the printer (notice how many of my stories start this way, it's like Fun Bobby on Friends, only with a printer instead of beer) and I noticed two of the guys who work in our tech support/services area. They're standing around our old fax machine (we just got a new one last week), which is now on a cart. One of the guys is bending over the machine, his head by back of the machine, but he is facing away, so his ear appears to pressed to the vent on the back. Neither of the guys are looking at me. It was so horribly tempting to sneak up to them and whisper, "If you listen closely, you can hear the voices telling you what to do."

Turns out he was just looking for the serial number. I overheard them talking on my way back from the printer. Too bad. The other way would have been way more interesting : )

Zara II Read-Through -- Repost

Okay, I wrote this huge long entry about reading the second draft of book two...and blogger ate it. I know better than to write a huge post and not save it. It's just that sometimes it works. And obviously, sometimes it doesn't.

Basically, what it amounted to was this -- the draft is not as horrible as I expected it to be. The first 90 pages or so are uneven to say the least. Confusing, meandering and over the top, to say more. But once the adventure really gets going, it's better.

I've struggled with the beginning of it from the very start. The beginning is the hook that draws readers in. You have ordinary life first, then the knock at the door, the phone call, the invitation arriving in the mail, whatever kicks off the adventure. But because this is a sequel with some time passing between the end of the first book and the start of the second, I'm not sure how much to show. So, that's an issue. Plus, two of my favorite scenes, at the moment, are flashbacks that occur about mid-way through the book even though the events being recalled take place before the start of the book. Which means they affect the beginning even though the reader may not be aware of it until much later. Is that a problem? I don't know yet.

I've also got some motivation issues to work out. Certain characters are behaving in rather uncharacteristic ways. They have their reasons, but people have to be able to understand why without burdening them with a whole bunch of exposition. For example, even though Zara knows bad stuff may be coming by way of the Observer Council, she still struggles with the idea of stepping up to be a leader. Doing what needs to be done. Putting personal needs behind those of the group. Most of her problem stems from self-doubt. Actually, almost all of it. She doesn't trust herself--after all, she nearly got all of them killed in the last book. Plus, she's got an enormous amount of guilt weighing on her. She took the lives of two aliens. Killing a living being changes how you think of yourself, I'd guess. And if it doesn't, then it should or else that person is a lot closer to being a cold-blooded killer than Zara is. She feels like a failure as a leader. Which shouldn't be a big deal as the strange prophecy only predicted her leading them against Nevan, which she did. Game over. Except Caelan doesn't think so.

But in the early stages of the book, her hesitance may come across as wimpiness. Which I DON'T want. I want people to see her fear and feel her doubt. Which sort of leads me back to the "how much do we need to understand before the actual adventure begins" dilemma.

So, I've got some work to do. But I hope to have a draft to my first readers, provided they are still willing, in the not-too-distant future. And an outline to RuneStone even more quickly than that.

Check this out...Get your very own Star Wars Land Cruiser!!!

I saw this link on Wil Wheaton's blog and HAD to let you guys know about it. As Wil recommends, you have to read the customer reviews. Some of them are hilarious. I personally think the "Customer Advice" section should say something like:

"42 people recommended So You Want to Be a Moisture Farmer by Owen Lars in addition to JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank."

Tomorrow...

I'm taking a day off to stay home and finish my read-through of Zara Book II. Though seeing how my concentration has been at home, I might have to go somewhere to do this. Plus, we're having friends over for dinner tomorrow night, and I'll need the extra time because I'm cooking.

No, that's not a joke.

I can cook some things. Just because they mostly involve grilled cheese, canned soup, and disposable plates and silverware is no reason to laugh. Okay, actually it is. But this time, I'm making Shirley's Chicken, which I've made before and it's turned okay. I hope it does this time as well. Otherwise, I'll have to get Domino's number ready as a back up! : )

The whole point to this is that there will likely not be a blog entry tomorrow. Unless I'm suddenly inspired or despondent -- take your pick *grin* Otherwise, we will resume our normally scheduled ranting and raving on Monday!

Another quiz to fill your time...

I was curious about this one. I've always thought I was a type-A personality except I'm always late to everything. Usually because I'm trying to cram too much into the spare minutes before I have to leave. So, apparently, I was mostly right. Interestingly enough, two of my other good friends are also A-. Beck and Stacy G., if you have a moment, take the quiz. I'm curious to see if everyone gets along so well because we're all the same in this regard : )

Okay, and how compulsive am I -- there was a typo in the description of the personality type. Incorporating was spelled with an "e." I fixed it. : )

You Have A Type A- Personality

A- You are one of the most balanced people around Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you. When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love! You live life to the fullest - incorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

D'oh!

Today I decided I had to delve into this draft of Zara Book II, and sometimes working somewhere else besides home helps me concentrate. So, I took it to work with me today, intending to work on it over my lunch hour. Of course, lunch ended up being delayed while I took care of business stuff. So, I didn't start lunch until 12:45 and even then I kept getting interrupted. But I did get about 35 pages of reading done.

However, right as I was finishing up, my boss's boss comes into my cube. Picture this. I'm hunched over my desk, wearing my ipod headphones and toiling over a stack of paper that can only be another manuscript. Nothing around here that I work on is almost 300 pages long. She needs my help with something, and I'm only too happy to oblige...except all I can think is BUSTED! Even though I wasn't even doing anything wrong. But she doesn't know that. She, I'm sure, noted that I was working on personal stuff at 1:30 in the afternoon.

I felt compelled to explain that I was taking a late lunch even though she didn't really ask what I was doing. She's cool that way. I felt like I was in one of those sitcom moments where the character is explaining too much, only making herself look guiltier. So, I kept myself from saying anything more, but still.

To quote Homer Simpson, D'oh! Of all the days to get a visitor of high rank in my cube...*sigh*

Oh, I'm so behind...

In 2004, RuneStone contracted three authors. I'm one of them. The two other authors have already had their second books accepted by RuneStone. Eeeek! I'm telling myself that perhaps their second books were already done before the first one was accepted but still...

I have to get moving on this!

Another review...

A review of The Silver Spoon is now on the SF Site, a big site for Science Fiction. Very cool! Check it out here

New pens, paper and a cool folder-thingy...

Yesterday I was in a bit of a funk. I printed out the whole manuscript for Zara II last week on Thursday, I think. It was kind of fun because as I pulled it off the printer, I got to read little snippets out of order. And to my great relief, I actually liked a few of the little snippets I read.

***Tangent: A writer's second worst fear is that after writing a book she will go back and find that she hates all of it. The first worst fear (note my stunning grammar here), otherwise known as just "the worst fear" is that you won't be able to finish writing said book. I've come to realize, though, that no matter where you are in the process, there is ALWAYS some huge, potentially career-stopping obstacle ahead of you. If you've written the book, it's that the book sucks. If the book doesn't suck, it's that everyone else thinks it does and it will never get published. If it gets published, it's that not enough people will buy it, etc. etc. Again, is it any wonder so many writers drink heavily?!?***

But despite liking the few little snippets I read upside down as the pages were coming off the printer, I was immediately confronted with the opening chapters. I hate the opening chapters as they stand now. At least I think I do. I haven't quite had the courage to go in and read them yet. This is a problem for me. With the first draft of The Silver Spoon, I loved the first half of the book and hated the second half for a long time. It's because the second half wasn't doing what it was supposed to, and I suspect it's the same problem here. But at least with liking the first half (which ended up getting changed dramatically anyway -- Nevan originally caught up with them at the hotel and Zara was shot, minor flesh wound but still) I could alter the second half to better fit with the first half. How do you match the first half to the second half when the latter is usually the outcome of the former? Arrrrggghhh!

I wrote the existing opening chapters because I didn't know where to pick up the story. I knew what happened within the story. I just couldn't figure out the setting and the kicking off event. In the first book, it's the diner and Caelan's appearance. Some part of me is tempted to repeat that same idea but in a different way, showing how much things have changed. But another part of me thinks that's cheating, and very possibly not the right way to start the story.

And yes, yes, I know I'm supposed to be worrying about the synopsis/outline. But I can't really pull it together without knowing how everything starts off exactly. Of course, the pressure is mounting, in my mind at least, because, duh, the beginning is what sells everyone on the book. And because I feel like I can't take my time with this one the way I did with The Silver Spoon. There was a lot of time there, people, between the first draft and the last. I don't want to take that long again. But I also want the book to be right. Unfortunately, for me, right has to take the precedence over quick, though I'm willing to do it right quickly, if I can just figure out HOW!!!!!

****DELETED****

Okay, I just wrote a huge chunk of stuff about what could and should be happening in the first chapters, and crazy enough, I think it helped. I deleted it because I'm not sure that it's right and even if it is, I'm not sure anyone wants to read about it yet. Especially in the stream of consciousness form it took on.

But the entire point of this blog was to say that I went out last night and bought fresh supplies of pens, paper and organizational thingies. Sometimes when I'm facing tough editing ahead and doubting myself, I do this as a little treat to me. I guess it makes me feel like you can do anything as long as you're organized with a fresh pad of paper and any number of highlighters.

: )

Random thoughts today...

I was on my way to pick up some stuff off the printer at work today, and the little red fire alarm on the wall practically called my name. "Pull Down," it says, in this extremely inviting and naughty way.

You'll be proud to know I didn't do it. But for that half-second, I thought about it. Really wanted to touch it. Thought about how the plastic ledge thing would feel under my fingertips. Imagined the shriek of the alarm and the dismayed people walking past me to the exit with their hands held over their ears. But I'm pretty sure that's a fire-able offense, no pun intended, pulling the fire alarm when there's no, you know, actual fire.

It's the same impulse that makes me want to mush my face up against the windows to a conference room and make faces against the glass when people are meeting in there. Or, run in screaming gibberish and run back out.

Yes, I'm weird. I don't understand it either. It's not like I want to get fired. But watch out people, the minute I win the lottery...

I LOVE politics...okay, not really, but I'm feeling much better about them now.

You know the acknowledgements page in the front of just about every book? It's there for a really, really good reason. Without all the people listed there, the book you're holding in your hands never would have happened. I'm blessed to have a large number of people who've helped, supported and encouraged me throughout the entire writing process of The Silver Spoon on through to today. And beyond, I hope.

Today, I just want to say thanks to Becky D. who, after reading my anti-politics entry, yesterday sent me a list of extremely insightful questions/comments that helped pull me out of the mire I'd gotten myself into.

Things like this:

"There is SERIOUS political hierarchy within Caelan's own small group. Somehow the basis of their political structure must be mirrored in the greater Observer political hierarchy. Remembering that Caelan and his co-horts were 'created in their image' so to speak."

It makes perfect sense now that she says it, but I just couldn't see it. Not until she pointed it out. So, thank you a MILLION times, Beck, I appreciate it more than you know!!!

Okay, whew, disaster averted! : ) I was seriously wondering if I was going to have start the damn thing over again because of the stupid politics. Now, I'm sure next week, I'll be fretting over something entirely different and thinking that it'll need to be scrapped for THAT reason instead. *sigh* Such is this part of the process. : ) I'm sure I did the same thing with The Silver Spoon, but it's like I only remember the good parts of the process. Which flips me out when I'm going through difficult times with whatever I'm working on because then I think that must mean that this project is doomed. It's not. My brain just seems to gloss over the difficult parts. Like the two and a half YEARS where I could not figure out what was wrong with The Silver Spoon. Why it lost momentum immediately after she got to the lodge with Caelan. Answer: because I was in such a freaking hurry to get to the main event at the end, I totally didn't think about how Asha would react to having another strong female around. She doesn't like it, and she has no fear of showing it either. But I, of course, totally missed this for a LONG time. So, there were difficult bits to that story too. Just got to keep polishing and working : ) And asking for help when I need it!

Thanks again to Beck, and to all of my first readers who've come through a time or a million in the years I've been asking them to do this for me!