So, I quit.

That's probably the big news. Enough people have heard me talking about it and it's finally officially official, so I thought I should probably post about it here. I've decided to take the voluntary severance package from my company.

When my uncle passed away last month, I had a major revelation about the kind of life I was living versus the kind of life I wanted to live. I wanted more time with my family, more flexibility to see them and do the things I loved. Life the way I was living it was more about existing rather than truly living. I was surviving, day to day, and squeezing in bits of happiness where I could. And that lovely method left me crying in the car--sometimes two or three times a week--on my way home from work. Not because of anything that had happened to me, but because I got the very clear sense that I was wasting my life. I'd somehow gotten on the wrong path, and I was scared to leave it because the way ahead of me seemed clear and easy if I just kept going.

I've always thought that freelance writing would be the perfect solution as it would give me the chance to earn money doing something I'm good at and enjoy, and yet, I'd still have the opportunity to live the life I wanted. Except I could never think of a circumstance in which we'd have enough money that I could try it. It takes time to build up business and bills still have to be paid in the meantime. And being self-employed would be SCARY.

But then this severance package opportunity landed in front of me. I knew I needed to make a change, I just didn't know what change to make. I looked for another full-time corporate job and found that didn't feel right. The only thing that kept making sense was freelancing. But that would be a huge shift for me and one that might not work out. What if I didn't like it? What if I didn't make enough money at it? What would we do for health insurance?

When I was talking it over with my dad, he had a few things to say that really helped me make this decision. The first was to think of life less like a test and more like a learning experience. There is no right or wrong. You get experience from everything, and once you've tried something, you can always say, "Nope, not for me."

The second thing he told me was a story, one that I think I've heard a version of elsewhere, though I'm not sure where.

A man is sitting on his porch and the floodwaters are rising. He prays to God, "Please save me." A motorboat goes by with some of his neighbors in it, and they ask the man if he wants a ride. He says, "No, God will save me."

The waters rise, and the man climbs to his roof. A guy in a canoe floats by and asks the man on the roof if he needs help. The man says, "No, God will save me."

Finally, he's clinging to the television antennae on the top of the roof and a helicopter comes by. The rescue workers in the helicopter tell him to get on. The man replies, "No, God will save me."

The man dies.

When he gets to Heaven, he's very angry with God. "I prayed and prayed for you to save me," he says, "and you let me die."

God says, "I sent you a motorboat, a canoe and a helicopter. What more did you want?!?"

Obviously, the moral of this story is that sometimes you don't recognize the solution when it's presented to you in a less than "lightning bolt from heaven" kind of way. (And this is NOT meant to be any reflection on recent actual floods, but just a plain old metaphor for being in trouble). Sometimes you just have to have faith. So that's what I'm going to do. I don't know how well this is going to work. I don't know where all the money is going to come from. All I know is I'm going to work hard to make it all come together.

And finally, to be clear, this is not me "quitting to write books." This is "quitting to do something that gives me more time to write books." More specifically, I'm setting up shop, so to speak, as a freelance writer specializing in corporate communications. I have absolutely no idea how well this is going to work out, but I figure a chance like this is rare and I should take it and see what happens. I love my company and the people who work there, but the commute continues to grow and I feel like leaving to try something that is more in line with what I want in life is the right thing to do.

So, as of May 31, I'm officially an independently employed writer. Eeek. It's scary just saying that. And I'm going to be shameless and say if you know anyone who needs corporate communications expertise, please let me know! I've got nine years of copywriting experience. I've even won awards for it. : ) A virtual portfolio of my stuff will be coming to this website soon!

I expect I'll have more time for entries over the coming months, and I'd very much like to document this experience just for myself too. It's the first time in a very long time in which I can safely say I have no idea where I'll be or what I'll be doing in six months. It's very liberating and more than a little scary at the same time. Wish me luck. : )