Thank you!

Thank you to everyone who voted for The Silver Spoon in the P&E poll. It was at #6 when the polls closed! Nothing will be official until February, but how awesome would it be to finish in the top ten?

Again, thank you!!!!

Christmas 2007--I love funny clothing!

So, apparently family and friends are concerned about my ability to express my true feelings about things...hence the theme in my gifts this year! (Sorry about the rather, uh, chest-y nature of the pictures--that's what happens when you're taking pictures of yourself and you want the funny sayings to actually be readable! So, no comments from the peanut gallery [by which I mean you, Edward. *grin*])

I love the black and white statement of this. Consider yourself warned!

My thoughts exactly!

A gift from my sister--yes, indeedy, we do!

My dad actually has a picture of me holding this sweatshirt and pointing to something in the distance. Yeah, we're weird, but funny. At least to each other!

Ad in this month's SciFi Magazine (Feb Issue, technically, but it's on shelves now!)

The latest...

Going a little crazy this time of year, as you can probably tell by thelack of an updated blog. We did move into our new house, but immediatelyfollowing that day (like, three days later) we had our annual holiday party for friends and family. Yes, we are gluttons for punishment. Right now, we are in the midst of buying, wrapping, and sending gifts, preparing to send Christmas cards, making Christmas cookies (my one culinary contribution toour household) and also having our house (the inside) painted. I didn't even plug my computer into the wall--my writing computer, that is--until this morning. I've been making do with the laptop for email and myAlphaSmart for writing...and not much of the latter has been accomplished in the last week and half, I can assure you.

I'm sort of halfway into my new office. I still have boxes everywhere. Most of them sit shunned in the hallway, so I can try to accomplish something. I am excited, though, because this office gets lots and lots of natural light. I just feel so much better and feel like I'm more productive whenthe sun is shining. Though in Illinois in mid-December, that's rare enough as to be unattainable.

There's a boatload of promotional opportunities I need to be following up on and the lack of time is KILLING me. I actually signed up for a free trial offer of Constant Contact (an email program) and I suspect it's going to expire before I ever even get a chance to try it. I'm also due to turn in an interview, information about my covers, and buy some banner ads. I'm also starting some promotion for Bitter Pill and need to make some headwaythere, but I have to find time!!!! This month, you'll find an ad for The Silver Spoon in RT Magazine and a really cool joint ad with Linnea Sinclair in SciFi Magazine (I will try to post a copy here). I'm SO excited. Also, EOB should be up for preorder on Amazon in the next week or so, and I'm due to post a new excerpt from it here on the site. Overdue, actually. Arrrgh.

It's also that time of year when I start to think about my plan for next year. I must admit that my plans usually do not go according to, well, plan. I never know what's going to sell, what I can finish and reasonably polish during the course of the year and what opportunities might fall in my lap.

According to last year's blog, these were my 2007 goals:

So that means for writing projects in 2007, I’ll be:
-finishing edits on the second Zara book (I’m working on those now, and I’m nearly done. Hope to be finished by the middle of January at the latest—yea!).
-editing/revising the second Rennie book.
-writing the third Zara book.
-working on something new!

Well, the second Zara book is done and sold to Echelon, so that's a good thing. Third book, honestly, has not even been started yet because I need a little distance from the second book to see where I'm going next. However, I realized, in discussion with Linnea, that a major character is not going to survive our next outing. That sucks, but the weird thing is, that more than anything else has motivated me to start thinking about how this third (and possibly, final) book is going to come together.

I also sold The Silver Spoon to Echelon this year. Need to cut myself some slack because prior to April or so, I didn't have a publisher for that book, which meant the series was going nowhere, at least temporarily.

Didn't even touch the second Rennie book. However, I did finally drop the vampire mystery that I started, struggled with and ultimately hated. I'm NOT a vampire writer. Very clearly. Lesson learned. *full body shudder* I also wrote a proposal and the first 40 pages for a new book for the Dorchester Shomi line. It didn't go anywhere (at least, not yet), but I'm pleased with the idea and the pages that came from it and I'm definitely going to pursue finishing it. I'm also proud of myself for making time to write those pages instead of sticking so rigidly to my plan as I probably would have in the past. First, because I LOVE what came from it, and second, it was just a really cool opportunity. This was the year of NOW. No Opportunities Wasted, and I like to think I did much better on that than I would have in other years. I think I'm going to make that my permanent motto, actually!

I'm in the midst of working on a shorter SF romance story, probably novella length, though I'm not sure. It leans a little more toward the space opera side, and I'm enjoying the change of pace, both the shorter length and the different twist on things. My goal was to finish the first draft by the end of the year, but I'm going to have to really work hard on letting go and writing a sh*tty first draft if that's going to happen. I'm hanging on just a bit too tight. I know it, and yet, haven't had time to force myself toget over it.

Now, for 2008 goals...I feel like I need a spreadsheet or Microsoft Project or something to try to be more productive and measure out my year in what Iwant to accomplish rather than just making a list and trying to guess at timeframes. I am blessed to be able to work on whatever I feel like instead of obeying set deadlines, which is fortunate, but that also means I can vacillate for days. : ) Anyone have a suggestion on how they make goals and schedule them for completion?

Move is done

Sorry for my absenteeism here. I've been packing boxes in every spare moment. We decided to move on rather short notice! About a month from the time we signed the inital offer to closing. : ) But it's an awesome house, and I love my new office. Everything is a mess right now, but more updates (and possibly photos) to follow soon.

So tired...

What the heck...I'm supposed to be less tired given the sleeping in later that has occurred thanks to bizarre ritual of turning back the clocks. (The Future Anthropologist in my head pops up just long enough to point out that this quaint custom is still upheld in the future but more for tradition's sake as the introduction of electricity to homes made it possible for people to do just about anything they want while the sun is down!)

Let's see...what else?

Working on Zara III and it is slooooow going. I'm wondering if I need to resort to writing a sh*tty first draft. I was trying to be all proactive and plan stuff out as I did when I wrote the second (and only readable) draft of book two, but I'm kind of wondering if I need to get the crappy stuff out of the way first. That's how I did it for books one and two. Not sure why I think changing my process now is going to work! Read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott for more on the sh*tty first draft phenomenon.

Oh, dude....if only...check these out! Veronica Mars Season 4! Part One and Part Two. Okay, network executives suck. This could have been such a cool show. The writing of Seasons 1-3 was so good. Way better than say, Heroes Season Two. And because I love you, here are bloopers from Season Three of VM. And more bloopery goodness!

Cover is done!

Isn't it beautiful? I love it!

Sex and Marriage with Robots by 2050?

Okay, so am I wrong that I find this article (and idea) completely fascinating? The author has all kinds of parallels to how our society has changed in the past to accept relationships that were previously socially unacceptable, and he thinks robots are next.

I don't know. Can you truly love someone who's programmed to love you? Would it be easier or harder than the real thing? I think the love and marriage portion of it, quite frankly, would be more difficult than the sex aspect. Although, again, if you tell your significant other, robotic or otherwise, to please take out the trash, who is more likely to get the chore done? But then again, is a surprise dinner out really a surprise if you have to tell the robot you like surprises and this is your favorite restaurant? Then again, perhaps the technology will have advanced so that the robot learns about you over the years, just as a person would? But will that robot change and develop also? Would he/she have a favorite food, color, piece of music?

And if they become that developed, in terms of humanity, isn't there something wrong with buying or selling them for the purposes of marriage and sex without their consent or agreement? And can you rely on consent from one who has been programmed to serve?

I just think it's fascinating. : )

The Best Weekend!

This weekend....
Friday
5:45 pm: Got to Valpo on Friday in time to hang out with Susan for a bit in her dorm. Met her friend, Tabbi (Hi Tabbi) and then went back to the hotel to meet up with Julie!

7:30: Nostalgic dinner with Julie and Susan at the Subway right across from our old (and Susan's current) dorm. Becky and I celebrated completing our first week of classes there about 14 years ago and one month. : )

8:45: Fireworks!!! And a brief tour of the campus for Julie who hadn't been back in about twelve years. Got to see the really cool book storage system in the library that involves big metal boxes and crane-type things to grab them off shelves. Didn't get to see it in action, but Susan works there now, so I've got an in for the next visit!

9:30: Swimming back at the hotel. Staying up, talking, and drinking with Julie (Susan not of age yet!)

Saturday
8:00 a.m.: Shoe emergency! I packed a black outfit for my signing and forgot the black shirt. Nothing else would go with the pants and the shoes and I had no other shoes except for tennis shoes. So, Julie and I left at 9:15 and stopped by Kohl's for a quick shoe shopping excursion. I got very adorable Skechers slip-ons, but they did cause blisters later in the day.

9:45: Setting up at the bookstore for the signing. Julie helped me get all the books counted and she was as patient as a saint, keeping me company during the whole event. Becky and Clint came by and stayed for quite awhile as did Susan. Heidi, who I haven't seen in a few years, found us as well! It was very cool to see so many people from our class. Everyone is still recognizable as themselves, but we all look soooo much older and more mature. Funny I still feel the same on the inside!

One of my professors stopped by to say hello, too, which was really nice. I wish we would have had a chance to chat more, but things were quite busy. I sold 14 books in just over two hours--pretty darn good!

1:00 p.m.: Lunch at Panera, by Susan's request, with almost everyone. Greg was off with his fraternity brothers preparing for their annual alumni vs. active touch-football game.

2:30: Met up with Greg and Ed, Deb and the kids and Heather and Rob at the football field. Game was already over! Alumni won. : ) Hung out with Becky, Clint, and Julie at the union until it was time for our 10 year reunion event.

3:30: Buffalo Wild Wings for free food, cash bar and a class picture! We met up with everyone there, including Ryan and his wife. Julie, Becky and I were all friends with Ryan our freshman year and we hadn't talked with him in years! It was so much fun hanging out and chatting with him and his wife, Kathy.

6:00: Picked up Susan, Tabbi, Maggie and Tim(my) at the dorms and took them to dinner with all of us at Chili's. Um, yeah, party of twelve on homecoming weekend? Ha! It took them a bit, but we got in! I had possibly one too many Cosmos and handed over the car keys to Susan. : ) After dinner, we made a quick trip to Target so the kids could get whatever was too heavy or cumbersome for them to buy and carry back while walking. Target is pretty far for them to walk very easily.

10:00: Back at my old dorm and Susan's current one, we headed to the cafeteria, the only room with air conditioning, for my cake! The VU Guild makes cakes for parents to send to students and my mom paid for an extra one to be sent to my sister's room for my birthday! Chocolate with chocolate icing--so good.

10:45: Down for a quick trip to Greg's fraternity house to see the place for old times' sake. Then, Julie and I, never the big partiers of the bunch, headed back to hang out with Susan and Tim(my) in Susan's dorm before going back to our hotel for some girl talk and more wine coolers. : )

3:00 a.m.: To bed, finally!!!

Sunday
9:30 a.m.: Dragged self out of bed. Cried that it was my last day with my friends at Valpo, even though it was my birthday. : (

10:45: Got packed up and checked out of the hotel. Said bye to Greg, who drove separately. Went with Julie to Target to get bandaids caused by my new shoes (see above) and we hung out and talked at the Barnes and Noble with our coffee/hot chocolate. None of these stores even existed when we went to school there!

12:00 pm: Stopped by Susan's dorm to say goodbye. : ( It was so much fun spending time with her. The cool part is that because of the age gap between us, she knows many of my friends already and has hung out with them over the years repeatedly. She's included as one no different than us, despite the years between us, and I loved having her with us this weekend. She's my sister and my friend, and I count myself incredibly lucky in that! : )

1:00: To Chesterton for Becky's baby shower at the cutest little restaurant with the most awesome french fries I've ever had! I've eaten more calories this weekend than probably in the entire week. Heather, Julie and I entertained ourselves, chatting and being silly while we watched Becky open her gifts. I'm so excited for Becky and Clint about BG (their nickname for the baby to be born in Jan/Feb of 2008) and it was really neat to see all the lovely things they received to welcome their baby.

3:30: This was the hard part. I was tearing up before I left the restaurant, leaving Beck and Clint behind. Then Julie and I left separately in the parking lot...by the time I reached the first ticket booth on the toll road, I was a big sloppy, red-eyed, crying mess. I miss my friends, but more I just miss that life with them. Being together with them just makes me feel more...whole somehow. Like I'm a small part of this big, warm comfortable group, and I miss feeling that connected.

We've all grown up now and moved on, but it doesn't feel all that long ago that we were making group excursions to Burger King to eat together or braving the trip across the highway to get to Walmart for supplies for our rooms or a party. And I just miss all of it...even the crappy tiny little dorm rooms. Okay, well, maybe not that part! : )

Pictures to follow...

Extras/Television Update/Early Birthday presents!

At the Great Lakes Booksellers convention this last weekend, I was lucky enough to score ARCs (Advance Review Copies) on several books I've been wanting, none more than Extras, the fourth book in Scott Westerfeld's Uglies series. It's what I would classify as YA sci-fi, and I've loved all the books. I think it's some spectacular world-building, not to mention some really cool (and creepy) ideas.

In this world, everyone is ranked based on fame. Your life is better the more famous you are. However, everyone is competing for that fame so getting it is a bit tricky. Aya, our heroine, wants nothing more than to be someone. Because in this world, you're no one if you're not famous. And she's not. But what is she willing to do to be famous? How far is she willing to go?

I liked the reflection back on our culture and our obsession with fame, not to mention our obsession with people who are famous for being famous (Paris Hilton, as one example). It's always interesting to see ourselves in something else, just a little removed.

Because I got quite a few books for free this weekend, watch here for additional info and reviews. It's my little way of trying to pay it forward. The publishers were kind enough to give me the books, the least I can do is tell people about them if I like them!

_____________________

Second random thing...

First casualty of the fall season at my house? Journeyman. Watched the first episode last week, but couldn't summon enough interest to even hit the record button this week.

First season pass awarded? Aliens in America. Traditional midwestern family (the actress who plays the mom does a kickass Wisconsin/Minnesota accent) signs up for an exchange student to help their nerdy son have a friend at school. But instead of getting a young, confident European blonde guy, they end up with Raja, a sweet boy from Pakistan. I can't even describe how funny it is and yet it has really sweet moments, and somehow manages to balance both deftly. It's on Monday nights at 7:30 p.m.

_______________________

And finally, with my birthday coming up this weekend, among other things (you all are coming to see me at the Valpo Book Center on Saturday right? ), Stacy G. and I met for lunch. And she has such a knack for finding cool gifts. This year, I got a mug with one of those older photos (from the fifites or sixties) with a woman all done up, her hair pulled back and big smile on her face and it says "'High Maintenance' doesn't begin to cover it." And I also got two AWESOME t-shirts form her. The first is red and it says in big white letters across the front, "Please remain calm." And then under that in smaller letters, it says, "It's no use both of us being hysterical at the same time." I laughed so loud and hard at this when I opened it, I think I scared the hell out of people at the restaurant.

Second shirt is black and in old timey letters, it says, "Lead me not into temptation..." And beneath that it says, "especially bookstores."

How freaking perfect is that? I'm planning to wear them this weekend and will try to take pictures!

Thanks, Stacy G.!

TV Smorgasboard!

Not sure I spelled that right and yes, I'm too lazy at the moment to look it up. But can we get a celebratory, "Yea!" for the start of the fall television season?

True, this means that I'll spend more time in front of the so-called idiot box instead of behind the computer...but I can't help it. For a self-proclaimed sci-fi geek, this year has so many delights to offer. I don't know what to watch first.

Chuck, which I've seen, is silly and cute. Completely unbelievable and totally camp, but fun.

Of course, Heroes is returning and from the first episode it looks like the second season is going to be pretty good too.

Journeyman...eh. I'm withholding judgment.

But tomorrow is Reaper, which looks to hold great potential. And I can't wait to see the new Bionic Woman. Though, I've been hearing less than stellar reviews, but here's hoping they get it sorted out. I don't remember the original, except in a vague way. But it's a cool concept, if done well. And Katee Sackhoff (Starbuck from BSG) can kick ass like no other, though she happens to be the villain (villainess?) in this particular outing instead.

And woo and hoo, Stargate Atlantis returns this Friday. Don't know how I feel about Carter moving to this show. I feel like they've just gotten the chemistry sorted and while I like the character (and the actress), I don't want it to be off-balance again.

But we'll see. I'm just happy to have new shows to watch!

I'm back, baby!

My computer crashed last weekend. As in, it couldn't have hit bottom any harder than if I dropped it off a cliff. All new hard drive required. *sigh* It's taken me most of this week to get it fixed and get it back up and running again.

Fortunately, most of my stuff was backed up, but now I've got to figure out how to get some things back on here. Like, iTunes. *groan*

Okay, so other news...

--I'm working on Zara III, at least trying to get an idea of how and where things start and how they progress. I've never been much an outliner, but I did a rough one for EOB and found that it helped. So, I'm trying to do the same thing here. We'll see. I may end up taking the leap and writing that draft without any solid idea of how we're going to get to the end. I did that with EOB and ended up with something awful for a first draft. It was only after I worked through an outline of what needed to happen and when that I was able to get something workable.

--Look for my debut author ad in RT Bookreviews Magazine's December issue. I'll get it and scan it in here, if I can. : )

--On a purely personal level, I'm very proud to announce that I've lost fifteen pounds since May!

Okay, that's probably all for now. More to come and hopefully sooner rather than later if I can keep my computer all in one piece!

Eyewitness Testimony is unreliable...especially from yours truly.

I'm a terrible eye witness. You have to understand this realization wounds me more than it probably should. I always get angry at the television when people on various crime shows can't remember stuff about the crime or the criminal in question. "Duh," I cry at the screen, "his shirt was green! How did you miss that?" And then you've got the requisite cop or lawyer pointing out how unreliable eye witness testimony is.

And so I've discovered, damn, I'm worse than the stupid people on television (at least they're following a script) and I shudder at the idea of someone being convicted or set free based on what someone else "saw."

Here's the story:
I went to the grocery store the other day to pick up a few essentials, and when I came out with my cart, I heard some yelling on the other end of the parking lot. I looked over, sooo very nosy I am, and saw this guy yelling at a woman. He appeared to be waving his fist in the air and saying something threatening ("Do you want me to lay you down, bitch?" I believe is what I heard him saying) and the woman was backing off with her hands up in the air. I watched for another second, not quite believing what I was seeing, and then I saw her approach him again. And...I just wasn't sure what I was seeing. Were they joking around? I hesitated, and then decided maybe I should call it in. Problem? No cell phone. I left in the charger at home.

So, I left and went straight home (two minutes tops) and called the police. The very nice officer on the other end of the line explained that cars were already in route (which meant, yea, I'd done the right thing by calling, albeit belatedly). Then he asked me some very basic questions about what the man looked like and what he was wearing.

And...I was stuck. I remembered hair color and I thought I remembered shirt color but what I said was evidently different from what other callers had said. Oddly enough, I remembered more what the poor woman was wearing than the scary, threatening dude.

Ugh. I couldn't believe it! My chance to be an eyewitness (not that I wanted to be or that I wanted anything harmful to happen but more to prove that people are smarter than what they depict on crime shows), and I was completely pathetic at it! And you'd think I'd be better with details or more observant, except, hell, I think I make stuff up too often to be relied on for an accurate retelling of just about anything! : ) There are very good reasons why I never attempted journalism.

Woo Hoo!!!

Eye of the Beholder, the second book in the Zara Mitchell series, is officially with the publisher as of about 10:00 pm tonight!!!! Celebrate with me! : )

Hope to have a cover to share soon as well as more excerpts!

More pictures from ARCHON...BSG Panel

My thanks to Jim Yelton for these photos of our BSG Panel...

Me in the middle there, for once listening quietly instead of yammering away. : )

The panel--from L to R: Mike Brotheron, Doug Ferguson, Jim Yelton, Stacey Klemstein, Jack Snyder

Not pictured here is Heather Urbanski, who was on the earlier BSG panel, and kept me company as the only other female. She's written this really cool book about science fiction and what it means in the larger scheme of things. And I loved listening to what she had to say--it was just like being back in a discussion in one of my college English classes. Awesome!

Lessons learned from ARCHON 31

Just a bit of silliness in the form of a numbered list...

1. SF cons are the place to get your geek on. (Hmm, that sounds vaguely dirty. Not intended that way, but oh, well). I loved it. You can talk Trek or BSG with just about anyone and they all know exactly what you're talking about and can contribute to the conversation in a meaningful way instead ofgetting that vague, glazed over look or fleeing in panic. Science fiction has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, and it was so cool to be around a whole bunch of others who are just like me in that respect. Two of my favorite non-writing panels were the two BSG panels I got to participate in. So much fun I could hardly stand it! I got to explain what a "sitrep" was.

2. When driving a PT Cruiser, you must refer to it as "the PT Cruiser" or just "the cruiser." There is no car or rental car in the sentence at all. As in, "I left my sunglasses in the cruiser." Sounds way cooler. : )

3. On a related note, when obtaining a rental car for a long journey, always confirm the existence of cruise control before leaving the rental car place! Five hours is a very long time to hold your foot at a 45 degree angle.

4. There is no substitute for drinking cheap wine coolers (purchased at the Moto Mart around the corner) while hanging out with good friends and enjoying the hell out of each other's company and an episode of Star Trek, the original series. (And my memory was right--the tombstone does say "James R. Kirk." Haven't seen that episode in probably twenty years ormore, but darn if that little production goof didn't stick in my brain. Don't ask me which episode, I can't remember the name but it's got to be one of the first or second ones as Spock is not even in his blue shirt yet. It's the one where the crew member's eyes turn silver and the doctor--not McCoy but a very pretty blonde woman--falls for him.)

5. Brushing your teeth is part of foreplay, evidently. But recycling, while important, is not.
(Links to YouTube, keep volume low but this is a MUST SEE). : )

6. Leave plenty of room in your suitcase for new t-shirts. I LOVE t-shirts, particularly those with funny sayings. Among my favorite purchases this time around? A "Legolas is my house elf" shirt. : ) Perhaps I will wear it and post a picture for you all. Mmmm, Legolas...

7. Don't be afraid. I was very worried that people would not like me or my writing because I blend science fiction with romance. But there were plenty of other genre-crossing authors there (among them, Rachel Caine, Linnea Sinclair, Laurell K. Hamilton, Isabo Kelly, and more!), and not a single person--writer or not--scoffed at my choices. At least not to my face and that, quite frankly, was all I was worried about!

8. You can always learn something new. My very favorite session was the one Linnea and I did together on plot. Not just because it was fun to get up there and talk about these things, but because she and I do things so very differently, I learned some new ways of thinking that will help me in my journey. My new mantra is, "Don't panic! You've just fallen off the conflict line, that's all."

9. Rooming with a buddy is a lot more fun than rooming alone! Isabo Kelly and I had so much fun...just not very much sleep. : ) At least, I had fun.She had to put up with my tendency to spread my possessions over every available flat surface. Next year if we do this, we're going to get room(s) next to Linnea. It'll be just like college. : ) Only with more drinking...

10. I can't wait until next year!

Photos from Archon 31/NASFIC

Me on "The Other SF/F" panel with Rae Morgan (on the right)

Me, with my mouth open (big surprise!) on the "Other SF/F" panel

My favorite picture...Leeloo (The Fifth Element) and me!

Thank you, Linnea, for the photos. I will add more when I have a chance to swipe from her site. : ) Yours truly walked off, leaving her camera at home! Also, I'm also working on a short summary of the con and a lessons learned blog. But it will be a couple of days...unconsciousness is calling! I am so tired...

Update from St. Louis

Just hanging out here with Isabo, taking a bit of rest before we head out for the final night of Archon. It has been sooo much fun! I was very nervous before coming here because I wasn't sure how my books and writing would viewed. Some people don't like romance in their science fiction, just as some people don't like science fiction in their romance. You know, the whole peanut butter in my chocolate thing.

But everyone has been so amazingly warm and welcoming. And you guys, I saw Richard Hatch yesterday! The Richard Hatch, the original Apollo from the original BSG and Tom Zarek from the new version. Seriously. I walked by close enough to pinch him...not that I would have. : ) He looks exactly like he does on television.

Other than that, I've been attending panels, talking to people, learning new things and, of course, chatting and drinking! Hopefully, I will have pictures to share next week. I forgot my camera, believe it or not, and Linnea has been kind enough to take pictures of me so I have some to share. : )

The costumes here are spectacular, by the way. I've seen an entire Stargate team, Leeloo (from The 5th Element), Wesley from the Princess Bride, multiple Harry Potter types, and a couple of superheros I couldn't identify, not because their costumes weren't accurate but because my superhero knowledge is a bit lacking.

Must go now to get ready for dinner. More to come soon...
: )

Meet me in St. Louis...

Tomorrow I'm heading out on a road trip with Isabo Kelly. We're heading down to St. Louis to meet Linnea for Archon 31. This is my first sci-fi con as a published author! I'm excited and nervous. But I'm looking forward to the trip tomorrow and to seeing my friends. : )

I'm on a bunch of panels, including some about BSG--on which I will be only a fan because my sci-fi stuff is NOTHING like BSG. But that's okay. It'll be fun. : ) I'm also on several writing panels. Should be interesting!

Will try to post from the con, but we'll see what internet access and time allows.

Finished 30 pages!

Last weekend, things came together on the proposal I've been working on. Once I got out of my own way (worrying about whether it was any good and if it would work), I finished three chapters. Then I finished the fourth one this weekend, which gives me about thirty pages, enough to be considered a proposal. Of course, I still have to write the synopsis, which for me is the hardest part.

The thing I'm struggling with the most on this one is that I'm really enjoying myself, letting my hair done and writing a shitty first draft (as Anne Lamott suggests). But I'm scared to pull everything together and send it in for official consideration because if it doesn't work for this particular opportunity (the reason I pushed this idea to the front of the development line, so to speak), I'm afraid I'll lose my passion and interest in it. I'll be too down on myself and the particular idea to keep going. I don't know...does that make sense?

That's why I prefer to finish the whole thing--or at least more than the first few chapters--before letting it go. When I've got the full book, I know that it's come together and I feel good about it, confident. If it doesn't meet specific needs, that's okay, but I've learned that doesn't necessarily speak to the quality of the story or writing.

But this...only a few chapters to stand for the whole thing. Eeeek. It just makes me a nervous wreck. Mainly because I'm acting on faith that it will all come together, just as it has in the past for other books. And yet, most books (other than the first few by an author) are sold on proposal versus the whole book being written (that's called writing on spec). So it's something I probably need to get used to.

Writing is, more than anything, an act of faith for me. And every time I think I've got it mastered--faith to write the next scene even if I don't know exactly what happens, faith to know that there's an ending for it even if I don't know it yet, faith to send it out, faith that I'm doing what I'm meant to do--there's another leap waiting for me. : )

So, okay, this is just the next leap. Time to close my eyes, take a deep breath and make the jump.