Blah

That pretty much sums up how I feel right now. Even with one of the most anticipated movies only day(s) away, I can't seem to get myself out of this down-in-the-dumps feeling. It's probably due to a couple of things. One, work is insanely busy right now, so I've just put in a very full day. Two, I'm working on several writing projects all at once and enjoying myself, but I'm at that point on at least one of them where I just want to have something to show for it. I'm revising the first three chapters of Bitter Pill to add a supernatural element. It's not really too much of a stretch. The whole concept for the series was, what happens if you have a character who's always stumbling over dead bodies, as characters are wont to do in cozy mysteries, and made her aware of the oddity. You know...hmm, is there something wrong with me that I'm not a cop or a coroner and yet I keep finding dead people everywhere?

I'm nearly done with the first three chapters and I think that it's actually fleshed out (fleshed, not flushed...As a former English major, that common usage error drives me crazy!!!) the story quite a bit. But it's also made it considerably darker. I mean, how could it not be? You have a character who's struggling with thinking she could be cursed, essentially. Part of what I liked so much about the original draft, though, was the humor in it. It was, and I hope, still is a fun read. I want to make this series a "take it to bed with you" kind of book. You know, interesting, fun, cozy, not something you're afraid will give you nightmares if you read it before bed. (For those who've read the book, wouldn't it be fun to have marketing materials--bumperstickers, bookmarks, etc--that say "Take Bristol to bed with you" or "Take Rennie to bed with you." Hee, how fun, I think!)

Anyway, I'm worried these changes might be taking it too far away from that original tone. But I've decided to do just the first three and send it to a few people, along with the original, to see which version is preferred. But it feels like it's taking forever to get them done!!! And I think it's because in the back of my mind, I'm afraid I'm ruining it instead of making it better. Or worse yet, I'm worried I'll feel ambiguous about both versions--as in "I like certain parts of this one and certain parts of the other one, but neither one very much."

Ack. Seriously. Because I love this story and these characters, and I think they deserve more than to sit on my shelf growing faded and dusty. Plus, it's important to get something else out there while I'm working away on my other stuff.

I also think this book provides a unique opportunity with the greyhound link. Rennie Harlow, the main character, has a greyhound. She's the only one of my main characters that has a pet. The others don't have nearly stable enough home-lives to have an animal dependent on them. (Side note: originally, I wanted Zara to have a dog at home--even named him Galileo--but I knew she'd worry about him at home with no one to take care of him. She'd never have gone with Caelan then!) If I get this book published, I might be able to work out a deal with one of the many excellent greyhound organizations around. I donate a portion of my royalties to them in exchange for them using my book as a fundraiser-type thing or just promoting it amongst themselves. I'd love to be able to do something good for the greyhounds--the story itself raises awareness of their fine character and their plight at the track--but the rescue orgs always need money too.

On a completely unrelated but utterly depressing note, I've discovered that I'm pretty much not qualified to be anything except a writer. That would be good news if I could just write books and book-related stuff all day. But I can't. *sigh* I know that sounds rather cryptic, but that's as far as I'm going with it here. It's a little too public and a little too depressing to further elaborate on it here.