Oh, I don't know...

Last night, after coming out of kickboxing class, I was struck by all these wonderful ideas to blog about. I even wrote them down on an old bill that had been abandoned in the car. Did I bring the bill with me so I'd have it with me when I sat down to write? Um, no. Do I remember what I wrote down on the bill? Eh. Kinda.

One of them was about how, in some ways, school politics never end. Remember in school when you had to pick a lab partner or you had to wait for a team to pick you (seriously, that's a great way to build self-esteem)? You never wanted to get stuck with the sucky lab partner (whether that was the geeky one or the one who wouldn't do any work probably depended on your social status), and you never, never for the love of God wanted to be the last one picked for a team. You know, the one that automatically got assigned to whichever team was unlucky enough to have last pick? Ugh.

That still goes on, even among adults. We just hide it better. You know the person you do not want to get stuck working with on a project. Come on, admit it. S/he is too loud, annoying or maybe s/he is a total glory hound. You'll do all the work and s/he will get all the credit. So, you do everything you can to avoid getting this project, including privately pleading to your manager and/or faking sick that day (which is a virtual guarantee that you will be stuck with him/her cause nobody else wants to work with him/her either.)

We also still encounter feeling of being picked or not picked. People going to lunch without you, or not saving you a seat at a meeting. *shudder* As grown ups, people, I think, are a little kinder, but these subtle forms of social ostracization are still going on. It's less about how you look and dress, and more about how you act and treat others. Which, to some extent, is fair. If you're a jerk or lazy, you're going to get left out. Unless you're funny. Or you bring in free food. Then, all is forgiven...usually. It's just interesting that everyone pretends adults don't do this.

What made me think of this is, actually, kickboxing. Every week, we pair up to practice our drills with a set of punching pads. A lot of the time, we have an uneven number. This makes me tense. I know a lot of the people in the class, and everyone is very nice, so why when it's an odd number, do I automatically feel certain that I'm the odd one out? Usually, it's because most people come to class with a friend, so they have a partner already. What's interesting to me is I find myself reverting to old behaviors that I thought were long dead. I don't seek out a partner. Most of the time, I hurry and wrap my hands (we wear protective hand wraps for punching) and choose a set of punching pads, so someone has to come to me. It's sort of a passive agressive method for getting a partner. I don't have to choose, and I don't have to ask. In general, I think I tend to be more that type of person anyway, observing the situation, taking in what's going on around me, instead of making any active decision.

But sheesh. It isn't that big of a deal. Whoever ends up without a partner is paired with the instructor, which actually is a better deal for your money. One on one training for the price of a group class. But still, it feels weird. Like it matters somehow.

Does anybody else still find the high school experience still lingers about occasionally?